The Adventures of Gary Stu
by Octavus808
Summary: The tale of a new Pokémon trainer and unfortunate victim of bad writing, who goes by the name of... Gary Stu. Warning: Language, adult themes, and I might be parodying bad lemon writing at some stage.
1. Chapter 1

The Adventures of Gary Stu: Chapter One

Foreword: I started getting tired of obvious Mary Sue's, as well as just plain bad writing. So I decided to vent my anger at it by... umm… writing it.

This is humor, so if you recognize a story that I'm referencing to and decide that you like the story and therefore should flame me, save it and don't bother. Some of the stories I may reference to I actually enjoyed reading, or found to be well written. So I'm not necessarily insulting the story, just taking the piss out of it or mocking it for amusement … Of course, sometimes I AM insulting the story… because I hate it... passionately.

Actually, you know what? Fuck it. Flame me if you want to. I find flames hilarious. If you want to show how much of a tough guy you are behind a keyboard and a proxy, please DO SO It'll give me a few laughs.

/ / / - This represents a time lapse. You know, "Later that day".

* * *

The man cradled his crying newborn in his arms, looking at the young boy with a smile on his face that nothing could hope to remove. "What should we name him?" He asked his wife, who had just recovered from the extreme discomfort and pain she had just conquered. At that moment, a hooded figure wearing a brown robe entered the room, wooden staff gently clacking on the hospital floor as he walked with it, seemingly pointlessly because he could walk fine without it.

Neither the couple nor the hospital staff noticed the conspicuously dressed man who had no business being there as Mrs. Stu replied to her husband. "We will name him… Gary."

The man looked down at the boy, and repeated the newborn's new name.

"Gary Stu." At once, the baby stopped crying, and his eyes' irises started glowing white. The man stared in alarm at his son, the look of worry on his face confusing his partner, who could not see why her husband was looking at their new son as though there were a tumor growing on his face. "What's wrong?" She asked. The man did not reply; he was too busy watching as the glow faded from his son's eyes. When the newborn's eyes had calmed, the irises had changed from the brown they were previously into a bright red.

The man stared at his son in wonder, before movement drew his eyes to his son's baby manhood, which was lengthening before his very eyes, settling finally at five inches, which is obviously a perfectly normal flaccid length for a newborn baby to have, let alone any man.

All the while the conspicuous old man watched the proceedings, with a smile forming on his mouth, visible under the hood.

/ / /

Hi there. My name is Gary Stu, and I'm a seventeen year old from New Bark Town. Today I'm starting my Pokémon journey. You may wonder why I'm starting my journey at age seventeen, as opposed to ten like most people, thereby conveniently allowing me to embark on my journey after hitting puberty. Well, I didn't always live in New Bark Town.

Back when I was nine years old, I lived with my parents in a small town that no-one knows about, and conveniently enough, doesn't have a name. One fateful day, Mewtwo attacked, destroying the whole town and killing everyone… everyone except me. He used his powers to hold me down on the charred ground, flipped me onto my front, lifted my shirt and burned a mark into my back.

When the force holding me down left, I stood up and looked around. Mewtwo was gone, begging the question as to why he attacked to begin with. A few hours later, some of my family members from New Bark Town came by, saw the ruins, and took me home with them.

Since then I've despised the idea of becoming a Pokémon trainer, afraid that they would all be crazy, like Mewtwo. Over time, I slowly regained my enthusiasm at the idea. Which brings me back to today, I'm asleep right now, so give me a few hours.

/ / /

Gary opened his eyes and looked out the window, staring blankly at the sky before a smile crossed his face. 'Today, I become a Pokémon trainer' he thought to himself. He leapt out of bed, put some clothes on, charged downstairs, ate a bowl of cheap cereal, left a note on the kitchen bench explaining where he was, and then sprinted out the door into the large town. He took a breath in, admiring the completely scent-free air for some reason, and then headed off for the lab.

About twenty-five minutes later, he arrived at the lab, before heading through the doors.

"That you, Gary?" He heard a male voice ask. "Yeah." He replied, as the Professor strolled around the corner, before gesturing towards a machine with three Pokéballs sitting atop it.

"A Cyndaquil, a Totodile, a Chikorita, and…" He trailed off, Gary looked at him curiously.

"Well, we have another Pokémon. We have no need of him, and he's eager to be out of here…" The Professor was piquing Gary's interest, perhaps deliberately, so he asked what Pokémon.

"A Riolu."

"Riolu… Riolu, I know I've heard that somewhere…" Then it clicked, "Oh yeah! Riolu! The fighting type, yeah?"

"That's right Gary, how do you know about it?" "The internet." He replied, really not wanting to go into any more detail about how he knew about the pre-evolution of Lucario.

"Where is he?" In response to his question, the Professor reached into his pocket, and pulled out a Pokéball, before expanding it and opening it. A blue and black bi-pedal Pokémon materialized on the floor, before looking at the Professor.

"Riolu, I want you to meet Gary." The young Pokémon turned his head to the young man, and took a cautious step towards him.

"Uhh, hi." Gary said awkwardly. The Riolu walked into range of his arm, which he slowly extended towards the cautious Pokémon. He started gently scratching under the Riolu's chin, the Riolu looking uncomfortable at first, before relaxing and closing his eyes.

"I'll take him," Gary announced with a smile. "That is, if you'll come with me?" He finished, looking at the Riolu, which turned to look at the Professor.

"Gary is starting his Pokémon journey." He confirmed to Riolu with a smile. The Pokémon turned to look back at Gary for a second, before jumping at him and grabbing him in an ecstatic hug. "That's a yes then?" A squeeze was Gary's answer.

"Will you take on the Johto League challenge?" The Professor queried.

"Sure, why not?" Gary replied enthusiastically.

"Well, you'd better hurry then; the Johto League is **quickly impending**." The Professor warned him.

"Oh good, I guess that means I can spend months piss-farting about and not actually making any forward progress towards each city!" Gary replied with a smile.

"So you'll be saying farewell to your family and then leaving town?" The Professor asked as Gary headed out the lab.

"Family? Bah! I wanna get straight to my journey! Besides, I left them a note."

"And what did this note say?" Gary thought back, and then remembered.

"It said '_gon 2 profssrs 2 gte pokemonz k bai_'." Elm just stared blankly at Gary in acknowledgment, perhaps having just violently lost a few IQ points.

"They'll figure it out," He assured the temporarily-retarded Professor. "Well I best be going. BAI!"

…

"**WAIT!**" Gary turned to see Professor Elm charging towards him.

"**YOU FORGOT YOUR BALL SACK!**" This time it was Gary's turn to become temporarily retarded, reaching down to check the equipment.

"No I did- oh… right… Pokéballs… thanks Professor." A brief smack could be heard as the young Riolu brought his palm to his face in exasperation, now knowing that the adventure he was about to embark on would be… interesting. Professor Elm emptied the contents of his ball sack into Gary's palm.

"You can get a belt to keep those on at the Pokémart in Cherrygrove." Gary decided that he would buy one, as he did not want to have to confront any more testicle jokes.

"And here's a pokédex," The Professor said, handing Gary a red rectangular plastic device. "It records data on Pokémon you meet. Professor Oak created it. He's been studying Pokémon his whole life you know."

"It'll be packed with info then!" Gary said, sure that he had an encyclopedia of Pokémon in his hand.

"Uhh, no… it's empty. He may have studied Pokémon his whole life, but he never got around to recording any of his findings in the pokédex; he was a bit distracted fornicating with a young boy's mother, and making valiant attempts to keep the boy away from the town by sending him on journeys."

"… well that's… that's uhh… Yeah, I'll be going now." Gary announced awkwardly, before turning around and heading out of the town, armed with the knowledge that Professor Oak is a playa.

And so with that, the new trainer headed out into the wild, ready to face his adventures, and his next adventure, on the road to his next adventure. Who knows what'll happen next? What mysterious adventures will young Gary Stu encounter on his… adventures? Only time will tell. Stay tuned and find out.

* * *

Covered in this chapter:

Dramatic birth

Traumatic childhood experience

Scar

Red eyes(FFFFFUUUUUU)

Roughly horse sized dick(FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU)

Rare Pokémon for a starter(Would have made female, but I want to avoid lemons if possible)

Character made same age as author ;)

Afterword: So, I plan to have him experience as much Mary Sue as I can manage without becoming suicidal as a result. So if you enjoyed this, feel free to suggest fanfics/stories/general writing cliché's/Pokémon-related writing cliché's in the reviews that I can draw Mary Sue/Gary Stu'ness from.

I got a bit carried away and ended up parodying the anime, too. Oh well, I enjoyed it

I try to keep the spelling and grammar correct, because it's something I hate to see done wrong, so I'm sorry if I've missed something and it's caused you psychological damage.

Hope you enjoyed. Read & Review, people.

PS: If you don't know what a Gary Stu/Mary Sue is, I'll try and explain it to you: A Mary Sue, (or Gary Stu for male characters) is a character that the author uses as a portal through which they can live out their sometimes twisted fantasies. Symptoms of a Mary Sue include:

Having no real/consistent personality

Having a tragic past

Having 0MG SUPA CO0L POWAHZ!1!11!ONE!1!

Etc, etc. There are various forms of Mary Sue, and these are addressed on encyclopedia dramatica's (Warning: satirical and deliberately offensive/racist wiki, however their information can be surprisingly accurate, and if you can take the offensiveness on the chin, it can be a really funny site.) page on the subject. I will specify one kind of Mary Sue here, and provide an example.

The Canon Sue. The Canon Sue is the result of an author taking a canon(from the source) character, and turning them into… well… turning them into said author. A sadly perfect example of a Canon Stu is the fanfic "Soul Guardians" by Latiasfan1. If you choose to look at "Soul Guardians", bear the author's username in mind while you read it. Latiasfan1 is a tragic example of Gary Stu, but that aside, I enjoy his writing… no seriously, he's a good author… just that one slight-enormous problem of his characters all being HIM.

Finally, Read & Review. Chapter two is ON THE WAY… or all ready uploaded… depending on the time at which this sentence is being read.


	2. Chapter 2

Foreword: Due to a complete lack of will to resist, I will be throwing in jokes related to the show and games here and there. Now I have to find things to have happen on the road _

By the way, I want to keep Gary Stu with, you know, a personality. He will be in Gary Stu-esque situations, but I would rather he didn't have a Gary Stu-esque personality… I gotta think about that.

* * *

The Adventures of Gary Stu Chapter 2

Gary Stu and his Riolu, Riolu, walked down route 29, headed for Cherrygrove City.

"I'm hungry, let's eat." Gary announced. Riolu stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" Asked Gary, not understanding why Riolu was pointing back in the direction of New Bark Town, roughly two meters behind them.

"I know we JUST left, but I'm hungry!" Gary took his backpack off for the first time that day, having never actually put it on that morning; he slept with his backpack on. Riolu just sat and stared at a nearby tree, trying to forget that he existed, while his trainer rummaged through his bag looking for food.

"Crap, it's empty. I forgot to pack food. How will we survive without food?!" Gary dramatically howled to the sky, before noticing a bush to his left.

"Alright, apple bush! ... Wait… apple bush?" Riolu turned his head to look at the apparent offense to nature. Indeed it was a bush with apples hanging from it.

"What is this, I don't even…" Gary stared at the bush for a moment, before shrugging and plucking some apples from the bush. Tossing a few to Riolu, he sat down and began biting into one. They sat there for a few minutes, eating their apples, before a voice called out to them.

"Gary?" Gary turned to look back in the direction of New Bark Town, two meters behind him, and saw the professor standing there awkwardly.

"Haven't you left yet?"

"Yeah, I just wanted a snack break. We'll be at Cherrygrove in no time." Gary responded, denying the existence of logic. The professor, it seemed, couldn't be bothered bothering, and just shrugged before walking back to the lab where he had important work and research waiting to be done.

'What was he doing out here if he had important work to do?' Gary thought, deciding to give this 'logic' thing a go. "Oh well," he said, standing up. "We'd better head off then."

/ / /

About an hour later, Gary and Riolu were still trudging along route 29. Taking their sweet time getting to Cherrygrove in the hopes that a pointless distraction would come along to waste their time and hinder their forward progress. They were just walking along, admiring the view when-

"AHH! Wild PIDGEY appeared!" Gary yelled "You're in charge, RIOLU!" Riolu stepped up to the plate, glaring at the Pidgey flying circles above them, waiting for an opportunity to swoop.

"Use… umm…" He pulled out his pokégear, before looking to see what attacks his Riolu knew. "…Quick attack!" Gary yelled. Riolu ran forward two steps before launching himself into the air at the Pidgey, and punching it in the face. The bird, that may have just been getting food for it's kids, fell to the ground, with Riolu landing a short distance away.

"Let's see how you like my balls." Gary said with an evil grin, while reaching down to grab a Pokéball. Unbeknownst to Gary, Riolu's eye had twitched when he said 'balls'. Gary expanded a Pokéball… somehow… and hurled the hard device with full strength at the bird. The ball struck the Pidgey in the face, knocking it backwards out of the standing position it had just achieved. The ball floated in the air before… flying back into the Pidgey, this time striking it in the gut. The Pokéball then floated into the air again, before smashing into the Pidgey's face again.

"Just, whenever you feel like it… you know…" Gary awkwardly said out loud to the violent Pokéball. However, the ball continued to beat the Pidgey for a few more seconds, Gary and Riolu flinching at each hit, before imprisoning the poor creature within it. The ball never rocked, just beeped.

"Congratulations, wild PIDGEY was caught!" Gary announced to the world in general, before realizing what he'd just said. "Why did I say that? … Hmm, never mind." He walked over to the ball on the ground, before opening it and releasing the Pidgey – which fell straight to the ground, unconscious. He awkwardly recalled the Pidgey, and then checked his pokégear.

"She's female. Should I nickname her? ... nahh… Well, let's keep moving."

/ / /

A few hours later, Gary and Riolu had finally not reached Cherrygrove, but were still heading there.

"Can we take a break? My legs are tired." Gary whined. Riolu just didn't give a crap anymore. They sat down in a clearing off the road and relaxed, having apparently forgotten about the Pidgey in critical condition.

"I'm gonna play around with my balls for a bit." Gary announced, causing Riolu's eye to twitch, again without Gary noticing. Gary pulled his balls out, and started fiddling with them.

"Hey check it out Riolu," Gary said, expanding a Pokéball in his hand, "I can make my balls bigger." Riolu's eye, once again, twitched. Gary, once again, failed to notice.

"You wanna play with my balls Rio-" "POKÉBALLS!" Riolu suddenly roared, standing up and breathing heavily.

"THEY'RE CALLED. FUCKING. POKÉBALLS! NOT BALLS! ENOUGH. FUCKING. GENITAL JOKES!" Riolu stood for a few seconds, panting heavily, before he sat down. Gary just sat there awkwardly, not sure how to react to this heated outburst.

Finally, something clicked.

"Wait, you can talk human?" Gary asked.

"No… wait, you can understand me?" Riolu replied

"Yep. I wonder how?" Gary brought his hand up to his chin, and started stroking his non-existent beard while he thought. Gary put his balls do- "Gary…" "Right, Pokéballs, sorry." – Gary put his Pokéballs down. "Thank you."

/ / /

A few hours later they had FINALLY almost made it to Cherrygrove.

"So… Whatcha thinkin' 'bout?" Gary asked.

"Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Well, I can understand you now and everything, can't I?"

"That doesn't mean you should ask me the same damn thing over and over. I mean, what do you expect me to be thinking about when all we are doing is walking past the same damn crap? 'Oooh look at that tree!'? 'Ooooh look! Another tree!'? 'Oh wow, more trees! They're so pretty!'?" Gary made a wise choice, and stopped pestering his poor Pokémon.

About twenty minutes later, they found themselves outside Cherrygrove City at long last.

"Well, I'm hungry. Ooh! Another apple bush! … Why do these fucking exist?" Gary started walking over to the bush, before Riolu kicked his legs out from under him, and bodily dragged him the two meters into the city.

"Ahh no! Damnit! We made it to a city within one cha-" Riolu slapped his hand over Gary's mouth, bravely saving the fourth wall. "Well, we better head to the Pokémon cen- OH CRAP, PIDGEY!" Gary took off, sprinting down the streets towards the Pokémon centre that he somehow knew the location of.

He charged through the doors, sprinted up to reception, and spoke to the arousingly dressed nurse.

"Pijeesbuddadye!" He spluttered, calling out Pidgey. The pink-haired Nurse Joy grabbed the possibly-dead bird from the desk and turned around, taking off through two doors with a needle sign above it. A few seconds later, the sign lit up. Gary, assuming that this meant that his Pidgey was receiving treatment, and not that a heroin addict somewhere had just had a breakthrough, took a seat nearby and waited.

Riolu walked in and took a seat next to his trainer as Nurse Joy walked back out of the doors, and looked at Gary with a smile.

"Your Pidgey will be fi-… well she won't die." Nurse Joy informed him with a smile. "Did you just capture her?" She inquired. "Yeah," Gary replied. "Well, you may have overdone it a bit." Nurse Joy said, wondering whether or not she should tell him that you're not supposed to kill the Pokémon you seek to capture. "It was the poke- oh never mind." Gary replied, wondering whether or not he should tell her that Pidgey's Pokéball is prone to violence.

"Well, come back in a few days, she should be fine then." Gary thanked her for her help, then headed out of the Pokémon centre.

To be confronted by an old man.

"Hello! I'm the guide gent!" He announced,

"Are you a ped-"

"Come on, I'll show you around the city!"

"No than-"

"This is a Pokémon centre!"

"I kno-"

"Here you can heal your Pokémon when you're done making them fight for money!"

"Yeah I-" The creepy old man grabbed his arm and took off, sprinting at speeds no old man could achieve without breaking his hip while Gary struggled to stay upright.

"This is a Pokémart!" He announced, standing outside a building with blue paint on the walls to make it identifiable.

"Can I-"

"Here you can buy supplies to help you on your travels, as well as things to help your Pokémon while you make them fight for money!"

"Yeah I wou-" Once again, the old man took off at a sprint for no reason. After a few seconds he stopped on a beach.

"This is a beach! That is water!"

"I CAN SE-"

"Here you can admire the view, or go fishing or surfing!"

"I KNOW WHAT WATER-" The old man took off again.

"This is my house." Gary slowly stepped away from the creepy possibly-a-pedophile old man.

"Here you can-" Gary didn't want to hear the rest, and sprinted away as fast as possible.

"WAIT!" The old man called out to him "HOW ARE YOU RUNNING WITHOUT RUNNING SHOES?!"

Gary didn't feel the need to explain the basic mechanics of human motion and kept sprinting away as fast as he possibly could. He sprinted mindlessly through the streets, thinking only of protecting his anus, and ran headfirst into… something. He fell backwards onto the ground. Gary opened his eyes to see what he had hit, and saw a hand enter his vision. He grabbed the hand and it pulled him up.

"Thanks." Gary said to the stranger. He looked over the stranger, he was dressed in a hooded brown robe with the hood up, and had a staff in his other hand.

"Not a problem. If it isn't too much trouble, could you please turn around and lift your shirt?" Gary found this a little creepy, but he decided to do it anyway; he was curious as to how the stranger would react to his scar. As far as Gary could tell, the man didn't react. But underneath that hood, a smile developed on the man's face as he beheld the rope-like triangular scar on his back, left of centre.

"It's been too long, Gary Stu." Gary dropped his shirt and turned to face the man.

"Seventeen years if I remember right." The hooded man continued.

Gary stared at the man in alarm, wondering how he knew his name. Riolu walked up beside Gary, having finally found him after the old man took him away, and noticed the bewildered look on Gary's face. Riolu looked at the hooded man.

"Are you alright?" Riolu cautiously asked his trainer. Gary glanced at Riolu before replying.

"Yeah, Riolu, I'm fine." The man observed the brief exchange with surprise on his face, invisible to Gary and Riolu.

"You can understand your Riolu?" The man queried. Gary nodded. "So, it's true then."

With that enigmatic statement, the man turned around and walked away. Gary looked on for a second, before asking. "Who are you?"

The man turned. "I am The Watcher."

* * *

Afterword: Well, not too much Mary Sue in this chapter, but there's more to come. I had some ideas, but I didn't want to send them out straight away.

By the way, the apple bushes were a shot at the anime. In the Johto league, at the bug catching contest when Ash distracts the Scyther, he hides behind a bush. Growing on this bush is... apples! Because apparently in the Pokémon world, apples grow on bushes.

Covered in this chapter:

Trainer being able to understand Pokémon.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Read & Review peeplz


	3. Chapter 3

Foreword: It was hard not to get too into it as I wrote it; it got hard to forget that I'm writing a parody… Well, read and enjoy

* * *

"The Watcher? Isn't that the name of a guy out of a comic book?"

"What? No!"

"Well, couldn't you have come up with something a little less cliché?"

"'The Watcher' is not cliché!"

Gary stood facing the hooded man with the redundant staff.

"Does Marv-" Riolu once again slapped his hand over Gary's mouth, this time saving them from a lawsuit. "Right, thanks. Look can't you come up with something better? I don't want to think of you as 'The Watcher' from now on."

"Deal with it." Gary rolled his eyes.

"Well, how do you know who I am?" Gary asked.

"The proph-" The Watcher stopped mid-word.

"The what?" Gary asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Nothing," The Watcher quickly said. "I had best be going. So had you, the Johto League is **quickly impending** after all." The Watcher then dramatically hurled a brown pellet at the ground and… nothing happened.

"Damnit." The Watcher then took off through an alleyway, leaving Gary perplexed.

"What's a proph?" Gary wondered for a few moments before collecting himself. "Well we'd better find a way to pass time; we'll be here for a few days after all." With that, the duo headed off, wandering the city aimlessly.

Gary noticed the Pokémart, and decided to head in to have a look around. Gary went in and started browsing the shelves, seeing potions, antidotes, ropes and other assorted junk, before his eyes set upon a belt.

"Is this a Pokéball belt?" Gary asked the man behind the counter, who was staring at the wall.

"Yep," The man replied without looking away from the wall.

"How much does it cost?" Gary asked, noticing the lack of price tag.

"Yep," The man replied. Gary stared. "Oh wait, it costs one hundred dollars." The man said, collecting himself. Gary rummaged through his pockets, found his wallet, and paid the man before walking out of the store wearing his balls proudly on his waist. "Gary…" said a low, irritated voice from Gary's left. "Oh, sorry Riolu."

Wearing his Pokéballs proudly on his waist.

/ / /

Gary opened his eyes as he lay on his bed in the Pokémon centre where he was staying while he waited for Pidgey to recover. Something had woken him. He sat up, and rubbed his eyes. He looked over at Riolu; he was sleeping soundly on the bed on the other side of the room.

Gary stood up out of bed and walked over to the window. He looked out the window at the streets below. With a yawn, he pulled out his pokégear and checked the time: AM2:37. His pokégear then abruptly shut down in his hand, before a shadow seemed to set on the room. Before he knew it, the room was gone. Gary couldn't even feel the floor of the room beneath his feet. He tried to scream, but couldn't make any noise. He tried to run, but couldn't run. He could only wait, and confront whatever was responsible.

For a few moments, nothing happened. 'I have no lungs, and I must yell' Gary thought.

Then from the total blackness around him, he heard faint laughter, before four glowing bright green eyes with two cold red pupil-less irises appeared in the air before him.

Complete silence. Gary couldn't even hear the faint ringing in his ears that usually accompanied silence. The eyes flared brightly before-

Pain. Gary suddenly felt waves and waves of pain pulsing from his back. 'The scar!' He thought in panic. It felt as though the pain lasted for hours when it suddenly faded away. The green eyes faded to black as Gary started to feel a burn on his back, as though it were on fire. He had only felt such a feeling once before.

From his chest, left of centre floated a glowing white triangle. 'The scar?' He thought again. The triangle hovered before him for a few seconds, and then faded to nothing, before the laughter returned.

Suddenly Gary was back in the room of the Pokémon centre. He stood for a moment, facing the wall before him. There was a gentle red glow on the wall before him, which Gary found intriguing.

"Gary?" Gary turned and saw Riolu looking at him in alarm. "Your eyes-" Gary passed out before Riolu could say anymore.

/ / /

Gary awoke hours later, back in his bed. He turned to look at Riolu.

"Man I had a nasty nightm-" He caught the look on Riolu's face then. "It wasn't a nightmare, was it?" Riolu shook his head.

"I woke up to see you standing in the middle of the room with your eyes glowing. I tried talking to you but you didn't answer." Gary was more than a bit concerned with this information. 'My eyes were glowing? That explains the red glow on the wall'… His thoughts were suddenly cut off; at that moment Gary caught the sme-

"I smell food." Gary announced right before bolting out of bed and charging downstairs.

A minute later found Gary standing in the Pokémon centre's cafeteria. He approached the counter before being addressed by a man behind the counter.

"Morning! Here we have some sandwiches, donuts, hamburgers and-"

"These are all rice balls." Gary said, confused. The man peered at him for a second, and then pointed at a group of rice balls.

"These are sandwiches." He said. Then he pointed to a bowl of rice balls. "And here is some salad."

"What? I- these are all rice balls though." Gary said, completely bewildered. The man peered at him again, as though expecting to see a Weedle pop out of Gary's nostril.

"Are you feeling alright?" The man said, clearly questioning Gary's sanity.

"Look I-… Yeah I'm fine. I'll take a rice ba- sandwich." Gary took his 'sandwich' and headed over to the table that Riolu had apparently claimed, and was currently eating a rice ball.

"You gotta try one of these donuts." Riolu said.

"It's a rice ball." Gary said without even glancing.

Riolu looked down, stared for a few seconds, and then looked up at the man behind the counter with rage in his eyes.

"Et tu, café man?"

/ / /

Gary and Riolu walked out of the cafeteria, and headed over to the reception desk.

"Ah, Gary." Nurse Joy said when she looked up to address him. "Your Pidgey is-"

"NURSE JOY!" At that moment, a man with spiky brown hair charged up to Nurse Joy with his eyes closed, and proceeded to declare his love for her. Nurse Joy calmly withdrew a small can from her pocket and sprayed some of the contents into the possible-rapists face.

And nothing happened. The man then began to inform her of how he would sit through any pain to be with her until a blue bi-pedal toad-like Pokémon walked over and struck the man in the back with a purple glowing hand, before dragging him from the building with a salute to Nurse Joy.

"Thanks Croagunk!" Nurse Joy called after them as they left. "As I was saying, your Pidgey has made a full recovery! The Chanseys should bring her out soon." Gary accepted this and sat down in a nearby chair. A few moments later, a Chansey pushed the twin doors open and Pidgey flew out into the main area, happily singing out.

She spotted Gary and flew down to him to land on his shoulder. Gary stroked her back while he addressed Nurse Joy.

"Thanks Nurse Joy, is there anything we need to do or can we go?" Gary asked her.

"You're free to go. You might want to hurry though if you're taking the league challenge; the Johto league is **QUICKLY IMPENDING**." She said with a smile. Gary accepted this with a nod and headed out into Cherrygrove city, heading towards route 30.

/ / /

Just a few minutes later Gary and co find themselves at the entrance to route 30.

"Guess I better return you to your Pokéball, Pidgey." Gary grabbed Pidgey's Pokéball and prepared to return her when the ball launched itself from Gary's palm towards the bird at alarming speeds. Pidgey avoided the ball, flying up into the air and squawking in alarm. Gary leapt forward and tackled the ball. Gary held the struggling Pokéball down with his body while looking around for something to smash the fucking thing with.

His eyes settled on a rock and, with one arm holding the murderous Pokéball in place, he reached out, grabbed the rock, and sat up. He raised the rock into the air while holding the ball down with one arm, then brought it down as hard as he could, yanking his other hand out of the way. Gary stood up, and observed what he had wrought. He tossed the rock aside and violently stomped on the ball when a few of its pieces wriggled.

He looked up from the decaying corpse and grabbed another Pokéball, expanded it, and offered it to Pidgey. She tapped the button with her beak and was willingly absorbed into the device.

With that, Gary headed off onto route 30.

/ / /

After only half an hour of mindless walking, Gary passed someone on the path.

"Wanna battle?" The stranger asked.

"Sure." Gary replied, ready for his first trainer battle, at long last.

"One Pokémon each, no time limit?"

"Works for me." Gary replied. The two headed over to a clearing out in the open off the path, and waited for the other to make a move. The stranger turned his hat around, so that it faced back, and then tossed a Pokéball into the air. The ball opened and out came a Rattata.

"I forgot to tell you. My name is Joey."

* * *

Afterword: Slightly smaller chapter... As for the I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream reference, I just couldn't resist

Covered in this chapter:

Visitation from a deity who decided to take the time and effort to bother the character… you know who it was.

Don't think I have anything else to say. Hope you've enjoyed so far. Read & Review peeplz


End file.
